... and this weak and idle theme

Some self-loathing this evening. Some anger. AND a cold.

But Miss Fisher is pretty awesome and damn, is Jack sexy or what?

I'd like to preface this post by saying that I have a tendency just to post to LJ to vent about stuff when I'm annoyed.

I had to have the "sometimes no means no" conversation tonight. Not about what you would think... but about the physical teasing stuff, like wet willies and tickling.

I'm just kind of angry, but not to the point that I want to make a serious deal about it. I didn't laugh it off like I'll often do, and I told him (after he wet willied me anyway) that I very clearly asked him not to do that, and he doesn't have some weird piggy bank where he gets to save them up for later (because his response had been "but I haven't done it in a while!").

Sometimes, people, just say you're sorry and move on. Don't try and justify disregarding someone's feelings.

Boy has been sick for a week now, and he feels crappy and he's tired of it, and he's bored out of his mind being home alone all day.

I would still appreciate it if he would be just a little considerate of my feeling, thankyouverymuch.

I'm going to go through the highlights:

1.) Found a job. I even like it quote a bit. Coming up on my three month anniversary.
2.) Got engaged. I'm probably freaking out about it more than the boy.
3.) Started at a cardio boxing gym in the area. Love it... will make myself go more often.
4.) Feeling distant and a little pissy toward people lately. Hoping it will pass.

That's mostly my life right now. Dealing with some other stuff, but nothing I want to get into right now. Mostly wedding planning.

So... how are you guys?

Working 0 days a week = depressed
Working 6 days a week = yay $$$$ but where's my sleep?!

Must move my butt now to get in the shower to go to job. Booooooo.

But it's temporary, so better enjoy the monies coming in while I can.

I've been unemployed for about two months now.

I'm working temp jobs every once in a while, going on interviews, etc. but most of the time I'm hanging out at home. Since I'm home a lot, I've been keeping up with cleaning like sweeping, dishes, and the like.

And Jesus Christ, my roommate is a fucking slob. My boyfriend to a certain extent (who leaves eggshells on the counter?!) but my roommate is the worst. Not only did she bake and get flour all over the floor, but she just left the oven mitt sitting in a pile of melted sugar on the sheet pan.

I've been working for a friend of mine the last couple of days (she's a caterer) and I come home today to a freaking mess. No one's bothered to take the cans in from the curb, the recycling is overflowing, the trash is overflowing, said eggshells and vegetable debris are on the counter, dishes are in the sink, flour is *still* littering the floor, and it just took 20 minutes of rage-cleaning to get everything back into shape.

Just take 5 fucking minutes and clean up after yourself.

Obviously, I'm cranky pretty often lately. It doesn't help that I got approximately three hours of sleep before insomnia reared it's ugly head. It's now 4am and while I'm exhausted, I don't have much hope of falling back asleep.

And, since I'm just complaining about *everything*, I've recently developed a headache problem. Lying down gives me a headache, and often a jaw ache, as well. I have a couple of different pillows, so I've tried the firmer one, the softer one, a combo... nothing works. I'd go without, but then my neck hurts. I just feel like a total mess.

But everything looks like shit when you've been tossing and turning in bed for three hours.

Oh, and just to give myself a goal other than finding a job, I've started two health challenges. The beginner's push-up challenge, and a squat challenge. Apparently, 5 push-ups are really, really hard for me. I'm supposed to be able to do 20 by the end of this thing. We'll see.

I hate everything.

I hate everything.

I cannot be unemployed for this long. I'm just angry all. The. Fucking. Time.

My boyfriend bought me Doritos and I can't stop eating them.

Also, cross your fingers for me... I just had a fairly good interview for a *great* job.

I dunno.

I'm frustrated. I can't find a job that I like. I love to bake, but I don't have the patience and the fine motor skills to really make beautiful things.

I'm working a new job as a bread baker for a German restaurant, but the work is incredibly physically demanding and the hours aren't any better than my last job. They pay me a little better, but they don't pay for my insurance or my bus pass like my last job.

Overall, I'd say I'm coming out about even.

Yesterday I was so exhausted that when I barely missed my bus, running after it and waving like a mad woman, I started to cry. Like, not a lot, but I was definitely upset that it was going to take an additional 20-30 for me to fucking get home and sit down and relax.

I think I've come to realize that I don't have any huge career ambitions, and I just want to find something that doesn't exhaust me, good co-workers, and pays decently well.

It's harder to find than it should be.

The boy is being hugely supportive, even though I know it's hard on him to have less of my attention than he'd prefer. I still end up staying up, hanging out with him about an hour after I'd prefer to be in bed.

I also just shouldn't look on Instagram anymore. I follow the girl who took over for me as lead baker at my old job, and she's been posting a lot of pictures lately of the stuff she's been making. I don't really understand why she couldn't do such awesome work when she worked for me. Now I just feel like I've been massively shown up, and it's really crappy.

Anyway...I'm still just finding my footing.

But I'm going to go see Guardians of the Galaxy today with a friend, and I'm going to eat lots of popcorn, and it's going to be awesome.